Southeast Asia has been the most emotional leg of our journey for me, filled with some of the most magical moments but also some heart-breaking experiences.

Thailand: Bangkok again

We keep trying to leave Bangkok, but circumstances like getting vaccines and catching flights to other destinations keep forcing us to return. I’ve tried really hard to like this city, but I just don’t. It’s way too hot and muggy. The architecture features too much concrete and corrugated tin – often with huge signs or billboards slapped in front (the stunning palaces, wats and modern hotels are the exception). Also, my research hasn’t led me to any world class museums or many places of historic interest.

Bangkok’s redeeming qualities, and they’re big ones for me, are its street food, markets and rooftop pools. The people here are lovely too, though conversations haven’t steered beyond polite formalities.

On trip two to Bangkok, we explored the Chatuchak Weekend Market. This is a huge, chaotic, fascinating, and energy-sapping place to find just about anything you can imagine. It’s different from the bazaar in Istanbul in that it doesn’t just sell tchotchkes to tourists – the locals shop for staples here too. 

We made the mistake of visiting the animal market – selling pets as well as exotic fish that can fetch tens of thousands of dollars. It was fascinating to see the variety of animals available. However, the conditions were abysmal – several animals were crammed together in cages, and it looked like they were wilting from the heat. Most disturbing were the squirrels and chipmunks on leashes attached to their tiny cages. And the market was like a maze, so we were pretty traumatized by the time we found an exit.

Bangkok is a city of contrasts and complexities, which have become more noticeable on each successive visit. Most housing looks pretty decrepit. Yet their ultra luxury shopping malls make our malls look like hovels – they sell Porsches in the mall! You can stay in beautiful hotels at prices that would have you searching for bed bugs in the United States. Yet most Thais could probably never afford to stay in these hotels. Bangkok seems to be in the process of reinventing itself, with a flurry of construction projects underway. It will be interesting to see its changes over the coming decade.

Cambodia

Although Cambodians share the same ethnicity as Thais – and there are definitely cultural overlaps – Cambodia feels more rustic than Thailand. The streets aren’t paved. There are no traffic lights, and traffic “rules” completely mystify me.

We encountered water buffalo and macaques, as well as several cows. I could honestly enjoy just riding around in a tuk tuk all day observing life here.

Siem Reap: Angkor Temples

We and 1,000+ other tourists woke up early to glimpse Angkor Wat at sunrise – what an amazing temple complex! So worth it, even with the crowds, in part because the heat becomes unbearable by lunchtime.

I didn’t realize before this trip that Angkor includes several dozen temples, located within 400 square kilometers. Each ruler essentially commissioned his own complex. Angkor Wat, Ta Prohm, and Bayon deserve their reputation as the three “must sees.”

But it’s worth taking two or three days to explore some of the lesser visited wats: you feel more like an intrepid explorer, and they’re each interesting. Plus it’s fun to hire a tuk tuk driver for the day to get from Point A to Point B.

Prasat Bakong and Tonle Sap

For our last day in Cambodia, we found an amazing tour that felt like we were truly off the beaten path. We biked through a rural village in the Prasat Bakong district and stopped at a primary school to observe their school system. The kids were so friendly, and Elise and I absolutely loved this experience. 

We also explored the local market. The women sell whatever food their family specializes in producing in the morning and use their earnings to buy the rest of the food needed to make lunch for their family (from the other vendors). They repeat this process in the afternoon for dinner.

Then we drove to Tonle Sap to take a longboat to Kampong Khleang. In this “floating village,” houses are either on boats or built high on stilts. During the six-month rainy season, the villagers can only interact with each other and the outside world via their boats. It was absolutely fascinating to see this way of life. We ate a delicious lunch in a family’s stilt house while watching several teams of villagers practice dragon boat racing in preparation for a big festival.

I was really inspired to seek out similar experiences: to be immersed in an everyday slice of life so different from our own, in a more authentic way (ideally without a tour next time). Other guided tours visit towns on Tonle Sap that are geographically closer to Siem Reap, and these tours are negatively changing the villagers’ way of life. Some reviews have called these experiences “human zoos.” The tour we chose donates all of the proceeds toward improving the villagers’ difficult financial situation and tries to be as unintrusive as possible. We’ve been thinking a lot about responsible tourism while in Southeast Asia and trying to do our part. It’s more work, but the payoff for all parties is so worth it.

Reflections

Cambodia challenged me in so many ways: the poverty, the lack of infrastructure (most noticeably in the lack of garbage facilities!), the completely different way and quality of life for its residents. Many families run little shops in the front portion of their houses, which seamlessly flow into – or overlap with – the residential back portion of their homes. Glimpsing their simple living accommodations was eye-opening for me.

Too many kids are selling trinkets to tourists during school hours.

My biggest moment of heartbreak was encountering a small orchestra of amputees – results of the Cambodian war – playing beautiful, haunting music at the entrance to Ta Prohm temple. The sign posted next to the donation box indicated that rather than beg, they were choosing to earn money to support their families through their music, “to live with dignity.” 

I hadn’t cried since my journey to the Denver airport three months ago. But after reflecting on this encounter and educating myself more on the Khmer Rouge regime, I broke down. It’s weighed heavily on my heart since. This article nicely explains the historical context and elaborates on the orchestra’s experiences.

There are many nonprofits in Cambodia with impressive missions. We met a group of women who annually volunteer on a team of 100 people to give free cataract surgery to citizens. A cafe makes delicious food and runs a fair trade shop, all of whose profits are committed to anti-trafficking campaigns. We bought tickets to a beautiful apsara dance performance, run by an organization whose primary mission is to bring back the traditional arts that were almost entirely destroyed by the Khmer Rouge regime. And we barely scratched the surface: I’m sure there are many other wonderful things happening here.

The phrase “same same, but different” originated as an awkward translation of the word similar to the Thai language. Its meaning has evolved to include the idea that while cultures can be so incredibly different, we are fundamentally the same. At our core, we all want safety, security, and happiness for ourselves and for our loved ones. International travel emphasizes both those similarities and differences, for me no more so than in this region. Cambodia unexpectedly stole a piece of my heart in ways that have forever changed me. I’m still processing my experiences here and expect I will be for some time. 

We’ve had so many interesting experiences since leaving Cambodia too, including some of those magical moments I mentioned at the beginning of my post. More news coming very soon: spoiler alert, we got stuck in Bangkok again!