I’m flipping the order of my posts for Indonesia, largely because Bryce took all of the footage (via GoPro and his drone) for phase one and hasn’t had an opportunity to edit it yet. For now, I’ll just say that we had an absolutely amazing time together.

This is my view in Bali at the moment:

And this is nearby Seminyak Beach:

But I’ve discovered that paradise is pretty lonely when you can’t share the experience with someone you love – perhaps especially on the heels of a special trip with your spouse.

Journey to Ubud, Bali

I did have a couple of days here with Bryce, arriving via Lombok on a crazy boat ride. “Highlights” of our journey included baking in the sun on the boat deck for two hours while enduring music that was absolutely blasting from massive speakers. The boat operators were mostly interested in plying us with beer and trying to convince us to dance the Macarena. We found out minutes before boarding that these boats have notoriously poor safety records and typically don’t carry enough life preservers, despite some tragic episodes in recent years. Luckily, the waters were calm, so we crossed our fingers and jumped on board.

Sight-seeing

Ubud has an amazing array of sites to explore.

Monkey Forest Sanctuary:

Kecak is a traditional Balinese cultural performance, which depicts part of the epic Ramayana. A male chorus chants throughout the performance. Then a fire dancer performed a trance dance. It was performed at a Hindu temple primarily lit by candles. I loved every minute of it.

Campuhan Ridge – hike on the edge of town:

Shadow puppets:

Pura Taman Saraswati (Hindu temple):

Spirituality in Bali

The predominant religion is a blend of Hinduism, Buddhism and animism, creating a tradition not seen anywhere else in the world. It’s so influential in everyday life, there’s a deeply spiritual feeling in the air.

Offerings

All day, women in traditional Balinese dress carry baskets filled with offerings – canang – on their heads. They place these offerings on the sidewalk in front of businesses, temples and homes. The offerings themselves are made of woven coconut leaves, flowers, incense, and tokens such as small crackers or sweets. They sprinkle the offering with holy water and light the incense. These offerings are replenished throughout the day.

Cremation ceremony

I had the opportunity to watch part of a cremation ceremony in Ubud. If a family can afford it, their loved one has his/her own ceremony, and it’s a fascinating ritual. The whole district of the deceased attends, wearing traditional Balinese dress. It’s a joyful celebration, as long as the deceased isn’t a child. In the morning, everyone gathers to prepare offerings to the spirits. The high priest offers prayers. Then there’s a procession through the streets, with the body in a funeral pyre. This is the portion I was able to watch.

The timing isn’t very precise, since the rituals take place all day. I ended up waiting an hour and a half in the blazing heat for the procession to begin, and a monsoon erupted just as things were getting underway (which pleased everyone, because apparently that’s fortuitous for the deceased). I baled out and took refuge in a restaurant, so I only ended up witnessing about five minutes of the procession.

According to my friend Karen, who lives in Bali, the body is either placed in a casket or “wrapped in a matting being passed mosh pit style overhead. It is placed in the pyre and then marched by the whole community to the area where they cremate. The pyre is spun three times at every intersection to confuse the body/spirit so it won’t return to haunt the home. After the body is reduced to ashes, it is carried to a body of water to be cleansed and purified before ascending.” I’m so bummed I missed this.

Yoga and personal development

I took a few classes at the Yoga Barn – a funky, tastefully designed complex famous in Ubud. It met every cliche I expected: my first instructor had a man bun; the cafes specialize in raw food and juice bars; and everyone seemed to have a tattoo with either a lotus flower or an om symbol.

And if you want to tap into your inner hippie, you have a wide selection of course offerings and workshops:

In fact, in Ubud, you can find a class on anything remotely related to self-improvement and/or eastern spiritual development. My favorite bulletin board ad was for Tantric twerking!

The yoga participants were all westerners. Most Balinese don’t actually practice yoga. But as a Hindu-Buddhist society with a huge emphasis on spirituality, it makes sense that yoga would take root here.

At this stage in my life, my approach towards any spiritual practice is, I think, a healthy dose of curiosity balanced by skepticism. In the evening, I went back to the Yoga Barn to try Tibetan singing bowls meditation. Its only noticeable effect was a significant, tingly sensation in both arms. According to my research, this meant that my chi was becoming unblocked.

Culture

In many ways, Ubud resembles an Indonesian version of Chiang Mai, Thailand. Both are cultural and religious centers and reflect a blend of influences from its native and extensive expat communities. These two distinct groups seem to coexist side-by-side nicely. I personally prefer Ubud’s aesthetic and vibe but Chiang Mai’s food.

Loneliness

The transition after Bryce returned home has been hard, with some incredibly lonely moments. I almost started crying when my yoga instructor started class by having us hug two strangers. It was really embarrassing. However, I am determined to have an optimistic perspective and to embrace this opportunity for deep personal growth. And I keep reminding myself: “I’m in fricking Bali!” I’m incredibly grateful I have been able to experience this amazing place.

Going to Bali to “find myself” is a completely unoriginal idea: there are loads of thirty- and forty-something western women here (in part, thanks to Eat, Pray, Love) writing their breakout novel, embracing yoga as either an instructor or on a retreat, etc. For me, it just happens to be where I am right now. 

So I picked myself up and signed up for a batik class, something I’ve always wanted to do. It was a fantastic experience! While I didn’t think about the symbolism when I selected my design, in Buddhism the colored lotus flower represents self-awareness.

I also relocated to the beach for a couple of very relaxing days.

I am not naive: I know I will continue to experience lonely, difficult moments. But I am learning to pause and to really listen to what my emotions are telling me. I am gaining insights about myself and working on positive changes. And I am finding an inner strength that I will hopefully retain going forward.

For Christmas, I will be in Vietnam. I signed up for an overnight sight-seeing tour, and I am excited about what I will be experiencing. But truthfully, I will be missing my loved ones terribly as well. To those of you also spending the holidays alone, I’m sending happy vibes (and virtual hugs) your way. And to those of you spending the holidays with loved ones, give them an extra big hug – and please don’t take that blessing for granted. Happy Holidays to all of you!